Lonesomeness and Identity

After having explained to the reader that she was born in Allegheny, Pennsylvania (a city that does not exist anymore), Gertrude Stein remarks on her transition from living in California to Baltimore. She comments, "The last few years had been lonesome ones and had been passed in an agony of adolescence" (75). After having left California she began to 'lose her lonesomeness', but in her point of view the transition seemed strange (perhaps unwanted). She had lost her 'desperate inner life' and gained a cheerful one. Perhaps Gertrude Stein prefers the lonesome life she had, and perhaps she became too bored with the ‘abnormality’ of being around others. Gertrude Stein may prefer the moments in her life that are filled with agony and lonesomeness because of the fact that they bring about conflict, dilemma, and change (something o write about). Throughout her autobiography Gertrude Stein reveals that she lived a nomadic life, just as her writing appears to be nomadic in of itself (she constantly jumps from subject to subject without chronological order). When she comments on how english is her language, it becomes even more evident that Gertrude Stein prefers to be by herself. She objectifyes english and claims it for herself. She mentions, "[I] read everything and anything and even now hates to be disturbed ..." (74). She uses her 'english' to close the door to the rest of the world. Just as she prefers her eyes over her ears, she prefers to see for herself than to hear from others. Even though it is obvious that the people around her are the ones that influence her the most in her perceptions of the world, she casts this self-indulgent and superior (to others) personality. The people that Gertrude Stein appreciates the most are those that show congruency in their personalities with her own: ie. Doctor Mall who claims that 'nobody teaches anybody anything'. Gertrude Stein has taught herself her own truths and beliefs, and nobody can tell her otherwise.