Spirit and Identity

The interractions between whites and indians during the colonial period greatly influenced the lives of American Indians. We can see in Zitkala-Sa's narrative how whites tried to mold the indians to their ways. Moving east to get a white man's education, both Dawee and Zitkala-Sa left the safety of the familiar to go to an unknown place, filled with ideas of abundant apple trees. Zitkala-Sa soon realizes her mistake of leaving her family and feels "as frightened and bewildered as the captured young of a wild creature" (45). Although the palefaces try to greet her, their greetings are unfamiliar and it seems absurd to her that someone would treat her as a plaything (50). An essential idea in the indian culture is the concept of the spirit. Zitkala-Sa refers to her spirit in a few instances, tracing its way to non-existence. "And though my spirit tore itself in struggling for its lost freedom, all was useless" (52). Here she speaks of a torn spirit, but later she laments losing that spirit altogether. "Then I lost my spirit" (56). This spirit can also be thought of as identity. The indian culture nurtures individuality, while she finds that at the white's school the existence of "chains which tightly bound [her] individuality" (67). Zitkala-Sa feels that she has lost her place in life. "Even nature seemed to have no place for me. I was neither a wee girl nor a tall one; neither a wild Indian nor a tame one" (69). Is this loss of identity the reason why she has trouble going back to her family? Has the familiar become unfamiliar because she is not the same person she used to be? Does Zitkala-Sa find her spirit again? Does she find a familiar place, a home, in the world of the whites?